i lOve him-

s.i.a.n

spent my whOle day studyin at hOme tOdae.. sO sian lO.. everyOne's nOt hOme.. the hse was sO quiet.. lucki im used tO it.. hahas..



i did all my chem revisiOn and the nOtes fOr physic.. nO mOod fOr humans.. tml gOtta study durin tat 1 hr break.. its 4 papers in a day lO.. crazy sKu.. i wOnder if its babu's idea..



fOr abt 1 tO 2 weeks, i see him everyday.. meet him everyday, even weekends.. tOdae didnt! im sO gaO wei.. missed him alOt.. he kept appearin On my mind when i was studyin.. i jus tOld myself nOt tO think.. i can think all i wan aft studying.. hahas.. and i made it! i was very happy when i finished studyin.. lucki we can meet up tml. hahas.. i'll be lOokin fOrward tO tat! hahas..



tml mOck exam le.. hOpe i can make it.. he's having his exam toO.. hOpe he can make it tOo.. hahas.. we shall bOth make it!



cause even the impOssible is easy when we gOt each Other-

tOdae, i was suppOsed tO meet him and the Others fOr breakfast.. i was late.. hahas.. but aft breakfast, it rained and we went junhaO hse tO study.. and the bOys played.. everything at junhaO hse went smOothli and fun..



but when we were leavin his hse, bObby had a bad stOmachache.. it was realli a bad One.. he expressiOn shOws it all.. he cudnt even walk straight lO.. we went 147 tO have dinner again.. lucki he ate.. i thOt he wOnt eat becOs of the pain..



aniwae.. everything was great and enjOyable except tat ache which spOilt his evening? jus hOpe tat he recOvers sOon..

memOrable day-

this mOrning, i was sO tOuched and surprised.. he appeared Out of a sudden wit some bread which he bOught.. i realli didnt nOe hOw tO react.. realli surprising.. he's the first guy tat does this tO me.. last nite when he tOld me he was gOing tO m'sia and doesnt nOe when he'll be back, i was sad and realli missed him alOt.. but luckily, it was jus a lie.. a white lie? but it started my day very well..



we are dismissed late again.. this time by mdm lOh.. she gave Out the Prelim time table.. it realli stressed me alOt.. almOst cried when i went thru it.. time is passin sO fast lO.. tOday is the 100th day tO O'levels le.. tmL will be a '2' digits day.. '99'.. tOld elye tO ask her tuitiOn teacher if she wants student.. my math realli slacked alOt ever since i stOpped my tuitiOn..



aft sku, went tO study wit him, wx, nik and dOm.. spent abt an hr... studying the wrOng thing.. very sickening.. felt like givin up and slack.. but in the end i carried On.. lucki! hahas.. aft tat went tO metal ring again.. i played sOccer wit 2 little bOis! it was fun.. then played bball against ah bOon tat grp.. realli fun! i scored a few gOals! hahas.. this week didnt play at alL lO.. i realli enjOyed myself.. but aft tat, i kept perspiring and stink lO.. lucki he lent me his shirt tO change..



they celebrated Shereen's birthday tOdae! hahax.. this aftn cOurt like nOt much ppl.. at nite, alOt liaO.. very nice feelin..



jus nOw he sent me hm again.. everything went smOothli and gOt better.. jus hOpe tat everything cOntinues tO get better and better? actualli, i think we are realli progressin very fast.. frm the day we started cOmmunicating till nOw.. realli fast..



btw, i realli enjOyed my day.. esp wit his presence..

28/7/05-

tOdae, we had accOunts tutOrial again.. damn sicking lO.. every wk is phua's lessOn.. wOngO didnt even had a chance tO have it wit us.. and again, we were late by 1/2 hr.. lOls.. bUt she delayed the time lO.. by rite 3.30 shd dismiss us.. dragged until 4.. the bOis were sO bek cek.. but i think tOdae is the 1st time im dOing accOunts sO fast witOut the file.. hahas.. lucki gOt nik's help tOo..



met him aft sku.. hahas.. everything jus seem tO get better.. i wanted tO play bball.. but i had the vOmitin feelin cOming back again tOdae.. damn sicking.. and he hurt his fOot.. blisters On bOth fOot.. he was suppOsed tO attend his guitar lessOn de.. becOs of this, he skipped it again.. i nOe his fOot hurts.. i dun feel gOod either.. it hurts me tO see tat esp when i saw the blOod..




tOdae desmOnd and cOmpany came tO metal ring tO play.. but the feeling wasnt ther anymOre.. we used tO be sO happy when we were at n4.. jOkes and aLl.. but tOdae.. its sO diff frm the past..




but anyway, i did enjOy my day, esp wit his accOmpany-

the stupid vOmitin feelin came back tOdae.. im realli affected by this suckie feelin.. wanted to realli relax and enjOy de.. but this feelin made my mOod went dOwn.. realli very gaO wei..



this mOrnin he purposeli wOke up earli in the mOrning tO 'pei' me and wanted to give me mOral suppOrt.. i was tOuched and surprised.. it realli started my day well.. my replies to him was shOrt and he thOt i wasnt in the mOod or jus nOt interested.. but im nOt.. realli nOt.. i jus wanted him to slp mOre.. tats all.. mb becos i didnt express it?




i read his blOg.. i nOe he's dOwn and sad.. i cud see tat when i wasnt happy tOday, he was affected tOo.. i dun feel gOod tOo.. but i didnt nOe wad tO dO either.. i jus dO not nOe y im like bringin mOre sOrrows tO him.. i nOe he's stressed.. and im adding mOre tO him? i dun nOe.. tats hOw i feel..




but i realli dO lOve him-

had a great day tOdae.. but was sO sleepy and tired.. the rain made me sO cOld.. i dun like the rain..


met him aft sku.. everything was alrite and went smOothli.. went tO study but i didnt study much.. felt like playin then.. when i realli went tO play, i felt sian.. dun nOe wanna play Or nOt.. the rain? lOls.. perhaps..


he sent me hm aft the game.. i felt tat things are improvin? gettin tO nOe mOre abt each Other le.. but was realli affected wit sOme wOrds during the msging.. but in the end, we managed tO tOk it Out and of cOs, it allOwed us tO nOe mOre abt hOw we are feelin..


i jus feel tat i've brOught him mOre sOrrOws instead.. anyway.. jus hOpe tat everything cOntinue tO gO smOothli..

erms.. tOdae.. he and wx came tO meet nik and i.. waited quite lOng Outside.. but we didnt realli tOk ther.. until we started gOing tO the vOid deck tO study.. he fOund his pen! its a gOod thing? hahas..


the Others came Over later and i started saying tat junhaO and i are havin an affair.. it was alL meant tO be a jOke.. and it was quite alrite lO.. finalli played bball again.. had fun until my leg almOst start tO cramp.. hahas..



he lOoked serious suddenli and i was shOcked.. i thOt he's angry wit the 'jOke' earlier On.. he sent me back but i cud sense tat he isnt realli happy.. he went thru my past testiz and was affected by wad he read.. thOse happenings had became histOry.. wad matters tO me nOw is the present and future..



we tOk sOme things Out jus now.. i didnt nOe hOw i managed tO tell him hOw i felt abt my past.. his past was asO a barrier tO him.. i think my past sOmehOw affected me tOo.. but i wanna OvercOme it and i will OvercOme.. perhaps time is a factOr tOo.. seriousli, i find tat things are improving at quite a fast rate le.. jus hOpe tat things carry On well..


i know what i want-

h.a.p.p.y-

went tO study wit crazy bOb today.. he helped me went thru 19 chps! i didnt nOe i can dO it.. hahas.. find it realli amazing.. if i were tO study myself, this can nvr happen..


went tO april's hse aft tat.. rOman had its hair cut! it is realli hOrny.. hahas.. saw hOw it pestered alex.. sO terrible.. april's mum was ther.. very frenli.. all Of us went tO the ntuc wit her..


in the evenin went tO metal ring.. the bOys played sOccer and junyi happened tO be at the cOurt when alex and i were sittin tgther.. he thOt we're an item! Omg! i nOe he must be thinkin tat i have a bf ther.. i felt realli unhappy aft the talk wit him.. i nOe he'll suan me and ask me things in sku.. and i'll hate it..



but Overall, i've enjOyed my day!

23.7.05

tOday earli in the mOrnin wOke up le.. went tO meet crazy bOb fOr breakfast and tO study.. hahas.. nOw i nOe he has anOther nick name.. lOlx..



i did my chem and studied abit.. i fOund Out tat i dun nOe lOts of things! sO jia lat! aniwae, jus discussed wit nik.. this week we gOnna stOp bballin and study fOr the mOck exams.. hahas.. hOpe we can..



btw.. i think i had enjOyed my day again.. but not many ppl came tO metal ring tOdae.. it rained tOo.. in the aftn, he suddenli walked Off and slpt at the tOp of the playgrd.. rain le ask him tO wake up.. but he ignOred me.... hahas.. i was unhappy wit it.. i dun like it.. but in the end Ok le lO.. tOk and luffed..



i enjOyed-